May 9, 2009

• 365 Equals 180

  At first I wasn’t sure what to say or how to express the pain & hurt. That filtered into anger & words reflected that with epic precision. I had poured so much energy into a dead dream that made everything feel empty & pointless. The ironic thing is, I got what I asked for. Last April I stopped asking the universe for vague generalities & started a list of specifics that became something of a daily mantra. I was looking for answers to moving my current relationship forward. Instead my questions allowed for the receipt of information in May which led me to end what had become a lie. Even in the face of what felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to me, I vowed to pull myself up & move on to the something better that was waiting. A few weeks later, I was presented with a bright light. She seemed to be the genuine article & very much what I had been asking for in my life. It felt like it was way too soon, but I stepped forward cautiously into it with the faith that it was for a reason. There were so many commonalities it felt wrong to walk away out of fear. So I tentatively moved forward with each day continuing to include her in them. We began to fall into place as though it was the plan all along & perhaps it was. I think sometimes we must see the worst to be able to understand what the best can be. Almost a year later, we are still together. She lives here at RnBoW house now & we are building a life, a home. I wrote one year ago today that I was of the good and right. That one day I would be in the pot at the end of the rainbow. That day has most certainly come!

  • 9:41 am
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